Supposed Jokes

I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
Arenโ€™t you supposed to be on top of that tree? Because youโ€™re a star.
Ya know, I was supposed to be a doctor.
But I just didnโ€™t have the patience.
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, โ€œHow am I supposed to know when Iโ€™m at 300 feet?โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you'll be able to recognize the faces of people on the ground.โ€
After pondering his answer, she asked, โ€œWhat happens if thereโ€™s no one there I know?โ€
I was surprised that although I was supposed to be feeling blue, my heart was not that heavy. Perhaps, I am feeling light blue.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because youโ€™re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
I know Iโ€™m not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but one glance at you and Iโ€™m already interested.
According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your body heat with me.
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
โ€” Meg Cabot
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. Why did God create man before woman? Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
Did you know that LSD is a really effective weight loss drug?
How are you supposed to eat if thereโ€™s a dragon guarding the fridge?
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
There was an Old Man who supposed,
That the street door was partially closed;
But some very large rats,
Ate his coats and his hats,
While that futile old gentleman dozed.
Today I learned that the Pentagon was supposed to be the Octagon.
But the contractor kept cutting corners.
I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"

A shepherds spy.
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