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Pieces Jokes

Utensils Puns
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
Math Puns
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Frankenstein Puns
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Wolf Puns
Of all the best pieces of wolf advice, this is my favorite, “stand fur what you believe”
Music Puns
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Flight Puns
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
Food Quotes
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
Birthday Puns
Why do pieces of popcorn always have great birthdays? Because they’re always popping!
Heart Puns
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
Puns
My neighbor was walking across the street while carrying the game Scrabble then suddenly dropped it, leaving the game board and pieces on the ground.
I said: “Hey Jeff! What’s the word on the street?”
Chess Puns
I've recently got a job making chess pieces.
I'm mostly working knights.
Poop Puns
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
Funny Marriage Quotes
“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” - Jenny Seinfeld
One Liners for Kids
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Time to duck.
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