Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
My toilet just turned one today.
It was her bidet.
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
“Urine!”
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
What do you call a toilet perched on top of an active volcano?
The lavatory.
Guess what I got my toilet for its birthday?
A Urinal cake.
Every time I flush the toilet...
Sh** goes down
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite...
But they’re a solid number 2.
I saw a show where all the man did was sit on the toilet.
It was a s**tshow.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
When is it okay to wash your shoes in the toilet?
When there's a bidet. People use them to wash their booties.
All the toilets in the police station have disappeared and they are asking for witnesses.
They currently have nothing to go on.
I designed a new toilet but cannot find anyone to test it out.
No one gives a crap.
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
Some people stand up off the toilet before they flush, but I don’t
I don’t want to see that sh**!