Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
I dislike toilet paper because...
They're tearable.
Why didn't the toilet paper finish the race?
Because it was wiped out.
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?
To get to the bottom...
Stores are running out of toilet paper again.
They’re wiped out.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
Why do toilet paper rolls have trust issues?
They're always getting ripped off.
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.
How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?
Multiply.
I had to wait in line for 20 minutes just to buy some really cheap toilet paper!
It was a pain in the a**
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."
Once we were so poor, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper.
Now those days are behind me.
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
My neighbour didn't like it when I told him off about hoarding toilet paper
To be honest, I think he was being very anal about it.
I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
A man has to go, but has no toilet paper. His friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back all dirty, so his friend asks "What is that horrible smell?". So the man says,
"Hard to wipe with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel"