The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.