Went to church on Halloween
Turned out to be a blessing in disguise
What does a placebo say on Halloween?
“Trick or Treatment!”
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
What is Halloween's favorite medicine?
Any brand of coffin cold.
I let my kids pick my Halloween costume this year. They chose a hot dog...
... this is going to be my wurst Halloween ever.
What do Italians eat on Halloween?
Fettuccine Afraid-O
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
What did the Turkey do on Halloween?
He was a goblin
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
My dad has been making Halloween related puns all morning
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
Did you guys hear about the airplane that dressed up for Halloween?
It was in disguise.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
I dressed up as a jousting lance for Halloween, but nobody got it.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
Why didn't the mummy finish his Halloween candy?
Because he was stuffed!
I was a bit worried about making breakfast on Halloween
But I ain't afraid of no toast.
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt
I'm going to be an ascot
Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?
Only if you Count Dracula.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
This Halloween I was planning to go as a band aid, but decided against it.
It’s really hard to pull off.
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
Why was the Jack-o-Lantern sad on Halloween?
Because he felt empty inside.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
Saw Humpty Dumpty shopping for Halloween supplies.
He's going to have a great fall.
I bought a pumpkin for Halloween but it was broken
So i had to get a pumpkin patch.
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
Halloween Math
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
Go to BabaMail
