What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
A Human Loving Alien
An astronaut is the first to step onto an alien planet. The alien's are so excited that they change all their signs to English, and even rename some of their places and landmarks after Human places and landmarks and things.
The astronaut decides the first place he wants to go is a pub. He sees a nearby alien and asks, "where's the pub?"
The alien gurgles back but his suit translates to the astronaut in real time. The alien says, "just around the corner!"
The astronaut heads around the corner and sees it! It's labelled "The Keyboard" and he asks the bouncer, "Why is it called the Keyboard?"
The bouncer replies, "the boss loves all things human and changed his name to reflect that. Ask him, he's the bartender."
So the astronaut enters the Keyboard and goes to the bartender.
"Excuse me, do you own this pub?" The astronaut says.
"I do." The bartender gurgles back.
"Why is it called the Keyboard?" The man asks.
"Well," the alien gurgles in reply, "since I knew you humans were coming I updated the name!"
The astronaut is on the edge of his seat...
"The reason it's called the Keyboard is because it's a space bar."
My computer has a language That is foreign to me It speaks of RAM and Gigabytes And what could ROM be! I don’t understand the Windows My computer says are there Nor the Gem Clip at the side of my page Wth eyes that blink and stare! I don’t unerstand the cures That maintenance wizards do It’s called defragmenter, span disk, And virus cleaning too! Yet, computer and I work hand and eye With a mouse to translate The tasks that I want it to do While it points out my mistakes! (Burmah M. Teague)
Hablas Espanol? No matter — my love needs no translation.
What Computer Acronyms Really Mean
People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms, so here's a list:
World Wide Wait
Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
Defective Operating System
Obsolete Soon 2
Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
I Blame Microsoft
Slow And Painful
Blue Screen of Death
Gradually Overcoming Our Ghastly Legal Environment
You Always Have Other Options