What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose!
I hired a landscape gardener today.
He couldn’t help me — my garden is a portrait.
Why did the gardener need a cork?
Because his garden sprung a leek!
I beg your garden?
Scarecrows always garden their patch.
I beg your garden?
What runs around a garden but never moves? A fence.
How do you know if you're a bad gardener?
All the rocks in your garden went belly up!
What’s a gardener’s favorite Beatles song? Lettuce Be.
What did the gardeners say when he discovered nasty weeds in his garden?
I have spotted spurge!
What’s a gardener’s favorite Harrison Ford film? Raiders of the Lost Bark.
I asked the staff at my local garden center what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.
What is the wise gardener's mantra?
Weed 'Em and Reap!
What’s the name of the gardener’s favorite show? Lawn and order.
Why did the gardener think her plant was sick?
It was looking very green.
Why was the gardener so embarrassed? He wet his plants!
What’s a gardener’s favorite type of trousers? Ones with turnips.
Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
New Year's resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia...
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
What rock would you find inside a garden shed?
Shedimentary.
Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
Why is The Hulk such a good gardener? Because he’s got green fingers.
What do you call a grumpy and short-tempered gardener?
A Snapdragon.
I’ve always been afraid of gardening.
But then I decided to grow a pear.
Why do gardeners plant bulbs? So the worms can see where they’re going.