Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
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