What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.