What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.