A tree toad loved a she-toad,
Who lived up in a tree.
He was a three-toed tree toad,
But a two-toed toad was she.
The three-toed tree toad tried to win,
The two-toed she-toad's heart,
For the three-toed tree toad loved the ground,
That the two-toed tree toad trod.
But the three-toed tree toad tried in vain.
He couldn't please her whim.
From her tree toad bower,
With her two-toed power,
The she-toad vetoed him.

Two tiny timid toads trying to trot to Tarrytown.

Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme

The theoretic turtle started out to see the toad;
He came to a stop at a liberty-pole in the middle of the road.
“Now how, in the name of the spouting whale,” the indignant turtle cried,
“Can I climb this perpendicular cliff, and get on the other side?
If I only could make a big balloon, I’d lightly over it fly;
Or a very long ladder might reach the top, though it does look fearfully high.
If a beaver were in my place, he’d gnaw a passage through with his teeth;
I can’t do that, but I can dig a tunnel and pass beneath.”
He was digging his tunnel, with might and main, when a dog looked down at the hole.
“The easiest way, my friend,” said he, “is to walk around the pole.”

(Amos Russel Wells)

Witch Puns

What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.

Frog Puns

When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.

What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.

Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.

What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?

What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.

What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.

What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.

One Liners for Kids

What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.

Dad Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A frog says, "Ribbit, Ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, Rub it".

Funny Animal Poems For Kids

"The Theoretic Turtle"

The theoretic turtle started out to see the toad;
He came to a stop at a liberty-pole in the middle of the road.
“Now how, in the name of the spouting whale,” the indignant turtle cried,
“Can I climb this perpendicular cliff, and get on the other side?
If I only could make a big balloon, I’d lightly over it fly;
Or a very long ladder might reach the top, though it does look fearfully high.
If a beaver were in my place, he’d gnaw a passage through with his teeth;
I can’t do that, but I can dig a tunnel and pass beneath.”
He was digging his tunnel, with might and main, when a dog looked down at the hole.
“The easiest way, my friend,” said he, “is to walk around the pole.”

– Amos R. Wells

Shakespeare Insults

Like the toad; ugly and venomous.

Poisonous bunch-backed toad!

Like the toad; ugly and venomous.

Here is the babe, as loathsome as a toad.

Fairy Puns

Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.

Funny Limericks

There was an Old Person of Rhodes,
Who strongly objected to toads;
He paid several cousins,
To catch them by the dozens,
That futile Old Person of Rhodes.

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