What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
Thanksgiving breakfast.
What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people after Thanksgiving dinner.
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY.
What does Dracula call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving?
The family dog’s nose.
What is the best Thanksgiving cookie?
One baked with May-flour.
What is a good name for post-Thanksgiving constipation?
Turkey in suspense.
What do jazzy people put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
Groovy.
What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
Traditionally, the letter G.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
Cold turkey was the only way to do it.
Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform?
Somebody had eaten the drumsticks.
What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?
Good restaurant reservations.
How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?
Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze!
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?
It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
"To be roasted or not to be roasted, that is the question."
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?
You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?
I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?
He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.”
Stephen Colbert
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters.
We all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
.
In what country is Thanksgiving, ironically, not celebrated? Turkey.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving. Provided you can catch the darned critter.
“Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shot gun going, "Blam! Blam!"
Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?”
Kenny Rogerson
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