How were these puns about puns? They were pun-questionably pun-fortunate!
How would you describe a pun about a pun? They're pun-ishingly bad!
What did the pun mom say to the new pun dad? We have a pun in the oven!
What a pun's dream job? To be an acu-pun-cturist!
What's a pun's best trait? His pun-ctuality!
What type of apartment does a pun live in? The pun-thouse!
Puns make me numb, but math puns make me... Number.
Why was the pun a bad comedian? He never got the pun-chline right!
What happened when the pun misbehaved in school? He was pun-alized with detention!
What did the pun say to his annoying colleague? You're being pun-reasonable right now!
Why did the two puns go to camp together? They wanted to be pun-kmates!
Have you ever tried to write your own puns? It's a fairly difficult pun-dertaking!
Why did the pun fail his English class? He didn't use proper pun-ctuation!
WOOD you tell give some wood puns?
What's a pun's favorite movie? It's a Punderful Life!
The Cat Poem
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
and sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
and someone nice to scratch my back,
for windowsills all warm and bright,
for shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay cool,
and keep the secret feline rule,
To never tell a human that
the world is really ruled by cats!
These innocent-looking questions are actually cleverly crafted:
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, which side would it fall on?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?