It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.