You may think these limericks are crass and throw me a comment to sass but I will agree to some degree and I’ll still show you the crack of my ass
The limerick is an art form complex Whose contents run chiefly on s*x. It deals with virgins And masculine urgins for vulgar erotic effects.
True Answers About Retirement!
Question: How many days are there in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.
Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answer: They are the only ones who have the time."There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit...retire!" Groucho Marx
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? Answer: Idiot
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Lunch. "I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy." Danny McGorty
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
Question: What do you do all week? Answer: Monday through Friday, nothing; Saturday & Sunday, I rest. "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day." Gene Perret
There once was a man from Peru, his limericks always end on line two.
There was a young man from Lahore Whose limericks stopped at line four. When asked why this was, He responded, "Because."
Limericks I cannot compose, With noxious smells in my nose. But this one was easy, I only felt queasy, Because I was sniffing my toes.
There was a young woman named Jenny Whose limericks were not worth a penny. Oh, the rhyme was all right, And the meter was tight, But whenever she tried to write any, She always wrote one line too many!
There once was a poet named Bates Whose limericks were never that great His first lines weren't bad But the problem he had Was he always tried to fit way too many syllables in at the end.