Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
How can you tell if an ambidextrous baseball player is bisexual as well?
He swings both ways.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.