Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
When Julius Ceasar got defeated by Brutus in 'Battleship,' he said, "A2 Brute?"
What is better than a physics joke?
A meta physics joke.
Why was Romeo melancholic?
Because Juliette Cantaloupe.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? That hertz.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn't have been Wright.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
An atom loses an electron...
It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Professor: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?" "It's where you get steel wool!"
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
When you offered me love, I lepton it!
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
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