Dark Short Jokes

Welcome to hell, if hell had a really twisted sense of humor (which it probably does). These are terror, horror and just pretty f**cked up to be honest. You sure you want to continue? Alright, consider yourself warned, as we cross the gates into Dark Short Jokes...

What do you call a toddler with a gun?
Infantry.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Who did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
I am a mean green machine.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
Did you know a school of piranha can devour a child in 30 seconds?
Anyhow today I lost my job at the aquarium.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
My boyfriend said I have daddy issues.
That's hilarious because I never even met the man!
When I was a little kid, I thought "This little piggy went to market." meant it went shopping.
It does not.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
A man walks into the library.
“Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.”
The librarian replies: “Whose going to bring it back?”
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?

Me: Yep.
Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? You can drop them off anywhere.
The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are.
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are molesters, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away.

"AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
Hitler got so pissed at the 1936 Berlin Olympics, he decided to finish the race himself.
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
What does the scrotum of a catholic priest look like?
Stupid question, even a child knows that.
Nice pumpkins!
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
There’s no trick in these pants.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
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