A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
I like older men because they've gotten used to life's disappointments. Which means they're ready for me.
Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
Ice hockey is basically just guys wearing knife shoes fighting each other with long sticks for the last Oreo.
Wives want to videotape the birth of their child, while husbands want to videotape the conception.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.
A third-grade teacher is getting to know her pupils on the first day of school.
She turns to one little girl and says, ‘And what does your daddy do?’
The girl replies, ‘Whatever Mummy tells him to.’
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he’s too old to do it.
I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... Scaring men is easy.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it… He's gay, definitely gay.
What did God say after creating man? I must be able to do better than that.
A woman inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted."
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce...
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
What is the main difference between men and boys? Men's toys cost more.
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face.
His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?"
The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?"
The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."