What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents.
One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Q: How do you stop an angry tiger from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What would a tiger running a Xerox machine in the back of a store be called? A copycat.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
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