What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
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