"Alcohol you later."
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
"Sip, sip hooray."
"You are so bottlefull to me."
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
"Read between the wines."
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
"On cloud wine."
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
"I need to re-wine my life."
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Will you accept this rosé?"
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
"Time to wine down."
"Say you'll be wine."
"Love the wine you're with."
"Here for the right riesling."
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
"Adulting makes me wine."
"Rosé all day."
"Stop and smell the rosé."
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
"Back that glass up."
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"It's wine o'clock."
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
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