Humans are social creatures, and there is rarely a person who can live in total isolation. However, sometimes our relationships create many difficulties in our lives, but you can avoid this situation if you understand some important things about the relationships that we create and maintain. It is possible that you’ve already grasped some of the following insights even adopting them, but some you may need explained a bit more. Read on to learn the 8 insights that will save you a lot of pain in relationships of all kinds.
There is no objective truth when it comes to people and the things they feel or think. Of course, there are things that are facts that can’t be disputed, but our perspective from where we are affects our ability to process such information neutrally. We always complicate life by seeing it through our own personal lens, which includes our past experiences and beliefs. Writer Marcel Proust once wrote, “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes”. If we have enough courage to remove the lens through which we look at the given situation, we may discover something worth seeing that we’ve not yet considered.
People can come into our lives for a day, a week, a month, a year and of course more, but each one is as significant as the other. Thank every person who came into your life, even if they caused you pain. After all, it’s impossible to escape the truth that there are painful lessons in life, and it is precisely these lessons that change us the most. What doesn’t challenge us does not change us, and this is true both physically and mentally. So, remember that every person brings with him/her a gift, and your job is to unwrap it to find out what it is, regardless of if the wrapping is pretty or not.
Before reaching the point you need to say goodbye, carefully choose the people you allow into your heart. If someone steals your sense of happiness, close the door to your heart - this is the basic law that will keep it whole and safe. When a person hits you for the first time when you aren’t expecting it, it can be painful, but now it’s your responsibility to make sure it doesn’t happen again. You must set limits that will protect you and help you make sure you aren’t hurt again. It's okay to be nice to people, but remember that not everyone needs a place in your inner circle of friends.
Other people can surprise us, for better or worse, and as long as we have expectations, they are bound to disappoint. So never do things for others just because you think they'll do the same back, rather do it because you just want to give of yourself. If you expect to be rewarded, you aren’t truly being kind. Just be who you are, without thinking about what you’ll get in exchange, and see how happy giving will make you.
You may have the best intentions in the world, but in the end, other people will measure you according to your actions and their consequences, not what you said or intended to do. Remember that no one can read your thoughts, and in the end, all that matters to people is what they can see. The same should hold true for you, make sure the people you surround yourself with are people of action, as words can sometimes, for the most part, be meaningless. Good friends are those who will be at your side in moments of trouble and hold your hand. However, on the same topic, you should also remember the next insight...
Remember this fact because will help you to be patient, courteous, empathic and less judgmental. Life is hard for everyone, and everyone has days that weigh harder on them. We may not always be able to show our best selves, because, in the end, we are all human beings. Try to notice what is happening to the people around you, and even if you can’t see what’s bringing them down, remember that they might be struggling with difficulties that you wouldn’t be able to imagine because you haven’t experienced them yourself.
No one has a store of inexhaustible energy, especially when we go through difficult experiences and periods in our lives. Which is why you have to save your energy for your goals and desires, and generally - for the things that make you happy. You don’t have to participate in any drama surrounding you, be it an argument in the family or political discussion at work, you simply need to refuse to take part. If you feel that you’ve been sucked into someone else's drama, take a step back and detach yourself from the situation. Such drama doesn’t help anyone.
Don’t assume that just because someone has been in your life for years, that they’ll be there forever. Every human interaction requires effort, attention, and concern, and if you love someone else, you won’t be afraid to show them these things. Spend time with the people you want to stay in your life and do your best to show them that they are important to you. Be with them in the good times and the bad times, celebrate your relationship together and thank them every day in one way or another.