A family is having dinner at the table one evening, when the son asks the father, "Dad, how many different kinds of boobs are there?" The father is a little taken aback, but he ponders for a moment before answering.
"Well, my son, a woman goes through three phases in life. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round, and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they become like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. But after 50, her breasts become like onions."
The son is confused and asks, "Onions?"
The father replies, "Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
The wife and daughter are NOT amused by the father had said, so the daughter asks, "Mom, how many different kinds of penises are there?"
The mother smiles and says, "Well honey, a man also goes through three phases in life too. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty, strong and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it becomes more like a birch, flexible but reliable. But after 50, it's like a Christmas tree."
The daughter laughs and asks, "A Christmas tree?"
The mother replies, "Yes, dear. Dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."
For more funny jokes scroll below.
These Parents Have a Great Sense of Humor...
These parents have the best sense of humor about their daily struggles. So stay awhile and crack some smiles!
Joke: Did He Forget Her Birthday?
This is what happens when you don't remember your wife's date of birth!
Funny Joke: An Uninvited Guest Keeps Coming Over
An old, tired looking dog keeps wandering into the house next door. The owners decide that it's time to investigate...
Welcome to Laugh Corner - Single Panel Comics
Dial down the stress as we approach our much-deserved weekend with some humor.
Some People REALLY Don’t Care About Safety - 15 Funny Pics!
Some of these bizarre work safety fails will give you anxiety!
The 30 Craziest State Laws Are Just Too Funny For Words!
Check out 30 of the craziest laws that are still in effect in the US today!
Hilarious: 15 Signs You Love Coffee Just a Bit Too Much
This is how you can tell if you don't just like coffee, but love it!
These Pics Perfectly Show the Funny Side of Life in the UK
These weirdly hilarious pictures perfectly show the funny side of life in the UK.
These Hilarious Pictures Will Have You Laughing Out Loud
These photos will have you laughing out loud.
These Funny Signs Made Me Holler!
Feeling sad or bored? After reading these 12 side-splitting signs, you will no longer have those two problems on your hands.
Don't Forget Your Hands - Hilarious Gag
People always say not to trust psychics, but I'll bet none of them have ever imagined a situation like this one!
Hilarious These Silly Signs Made Me Laugh!
19 funny signs that were written on purpose to be hilarious and witty.
19 Classical Art Memes Guaranteed to Leave You in Splits
People are turning classical art into hilarious memes, and we can’t stop laughing!
Mr. Bean Never Expected a Round of Golf Like That...
Mr Bean decides to treat himself to a round of crazy golf. He starts off with a fantastic hole in one, but things start to take a turn for the worse…
Comedy Gold: Do Not Mess With Buster Keaton!
Enjoy this rib-tickling sketch by the king of comedy, Buster Keaton.
15 Hilarious Photobombing Moments That Will Make You Laugh
Sometimes, a photobomb can result in some incredibly hilarious moments.
This Rude Prank Will Have You Screaming With Laughter!
When the a gag team sets up a secret love affair between a priest and a couple of nuns, the resulting chaos that ensues will make you scream with laughter!
Hilarious! These Overly Dramatic Cats Deserve an Oscar...
Which of these hilarious cat expressions made you laugh most?
Hilarious! Some Animals Cannot Pose Well in Photos
Here are some majestic and graceful animals, captured in less than fluttering moments.
Watch These Funny Animals Get Into Mischief!
Watch this video compilation of animals and pets getting into funny situations.
Hilarious: Mr. Bean and the Eating Competition
Mr. Bean's eating competition against a fellow guest is going swimmingly until he eats a batch of spoiled oysters...
Indecent Behavior: That's Not the Way to Conduct Yourself!
Waitresses see some shocking behavior from courting couples, but tonight's spectacle was extraordinarily indecent...
HILARIOUS: These Warning Signs are NOT Doing Their Job...
These warning signs are not doing their job well, are they?
This May Be the Funniest Message I've Ever Heard...
This has to be the funniest hotline message ever recorded.
Hilarious: The Silliest Things in Life are FINALLY Explained
I have never seen more accurate and hilarious assessments of our daily lives, then these simple graphs.
Hilarious! What It Truly Means to Be a Grandparent
These Hilarious quotes by Gene Perret perfectly sum up life as a grandparent.
When Kid Photos Don't Come Out the Way You Hoped...
Click to see the outcome of kids who did not want to have their photos taken.
Hilarious: The Funniest Restaurant Names!
These restaurants will grab you attention for all the wrong reasons! We can't stop laughing!
Add Humor to Your Bathroom With These Crazy Curtains
Add a touch of humor to your bathroom with these crazy shower curtains.
These Funny Quotes Will Inspire You With a Smile
Let these humorous quotes about life put a smile on your face.
Hilarious! Here Are 15 Animals Having a Really Bad Day...
Humans aren't the only ones who can have a really bad day every once in a while, and these 15 hilarious photos prove it!
We All Make These Mistakes as Parents... Hilarious!
When situations like this happen, we cannot help but giggle. Take a look at these hilarious parenting fails.
What the Heck Was Going On in These 25 Photographs!
Sometimes you just have to throw you hands up and ask: 'what the hell are all these people in the photos were thinking?'
These Doormats Are Just Hilarious (16 Pics)
Amuse your guests with these ridiculously creative door mats.
I Swear Officer, I Was Framed!
These people thought they were helping film a prank, but they didn't realize what will happen next...
The Funny Side of Having Too Much Technology...
It's crazy to think about how most of us have become attached to our cellphones, but there's a funny side to the whole thing. Take a look at these memes.
Have You Heard Disco, the Chattiest Little Parakeet?
Disco is never short of words to say, in fact, he never stops rabbiting away, coming out with all manner of curious and hilarious phrases.
Every Species Has Its Comedians...
There's nothing better than animals to make us smile and laugh!
This Comedian's One Liners Always Have Me in Stitches
This hilarious comedian is a champion of the old-fashioned art of the quick-fire one liner. The laughs keep coming thick and fast!
These Are the Most Ridiculous Solutions I Have Ever Seen
How to solve your problems in the worst way...
Whoever Created These Funny Signs Deserves a Pay Raise!
These hilarious business signs will definitely tickle your funny bone.
Hilarious: What Is the TRUE Meaning of Marriage?
This is why all young lovers look forward to marriage....
20 Funny Quotes for All the Introverts Out There
Do you identify yourself as an introvert? Then you will relate to these hilarious quotes.