We all want to be more attractive, not only for our partner but also to impress the people we interact with every day. Although this is a subject almost everyone thinks about every day, there are some things most of us don’t understand about attraction between people; First of all, our outward appearance tends to radiate our inner feelings, so that once we improve our approach to life, we will automatically seem more attractive to our environment. Second, our physical appearance is not the only measure that determines how attractive we are to others, rather our behavior also plays a significant, if not more important, role.
The last point to note is that attraction can be intimate or platonic, meaning that our level of attraction affects not only our ability to find a partner but also friends and people who rely on us and want to be around us.
Now that we understand that our level of attraction is not based solely on outward appearance, it is time to get to know the 7 habits that make us seem unattractive and may even cause us to be rejected by people, and the 7 ways to help you be more attractive and improve your chances of finding a partner and developing healthy relationships with coworkers and friends.
Of course, you have to make some effort to improve your appearance if you want to look more attractive, but at the same time, you need to invest in changing the 7 harmful habits that make anyone, regardless of their appearance, a person who no one wants to be around.
Sometimes competition is good and healthy, as long as it’s done in the right place and time, but constantly comparing ourselves to others is not necessary, and can even be harmful. When you push others into competition with you, you may seem rude, and no one wants to be around a person who needs to be assured all the time that they are better than others. Instead of competing with others, set yourself personal goals and try to beat yourself in competition, or reduce your competition to areas of life where it is appropriate and useful, such as in the workplace or in sports. Remember that your achievements should make you feel that you are transcending yourself and not others.
We try to get as far away as possible from people who treat us rudely because manners and respect are a necessary part of any healthy relationship. People who are rude often fail to see anything wrong with their behavior and often believe that they are "honest". However, to others, they simply look like people who don’t know how to respect their fellow man or woman, or just lack tact. Even if you don’t like a particular person, you should treat them with respect. If a disagreement begins between you and you choose to be the bigger person - it will make you look more mature and therefore more attractive.
When we interrupt someone who is speaking to us, no matter how important what we want to say is, this behavior is interpreted as rude. Cutting people off shows that you don’t care what they have to say, and as a result, they will develop such an attitude towards you as well. You must learn how to control yourself and listen for meaning, not only sounds. Let others end their words before you say what you want them to hear, and don’t interrupt other peoples’ conversations - this is behavior that we would all expect from others, even from our children.
Expanding on our previous section, one of the biggest problems of our part in conversations or discussions is that we don’t listen to others, and instead we think about how we want to respond or just about other things in life such as our personal problems and most recent concerns. Here's an experiment you can do to test the effect of this behavior: The next time you find yourself in a group discussion and someone is talking, look at the people around you. Chances are you'll see at least one or two people staring at their smartphone or whispering to someone else, and such behavior is gross and unattractive at all. The best way to listen to another person is to look them in the eye or at their mouth. While it is easier said than done if you practice and make the effort, over time it will become a second nature.
Throughout your life, you’ve probably met at least one person who feels that they are better than everyone else. If you try to remember the feelings you felt towards that person, you will probably find them more negative than positive. A person who feels that they are better than others and is not afraid to show it repels other people, because no one wants to be around someone who makes them feel inferior. To avoid this behavior, remember that we are all human beings with strong and weak points. Of course, there are positive things in you that you won’t find in other people, but the opposite is also true. You must avoid making harsh judgment on yourself, as well as others, to make them feel more comfortable around you.
No one wants to be around a person who only causes trouble in their life, but there is a reason for such behavior, and usually, it is used to get attention. If you know that you have this problem, it is important that you know that what you get from it is not attention, but a sense of rejection that develops in the person you are fighting with. In fact, instead of getting the attention you want, most people will choose to ignore you and busy themselves with things that don’t include you. To avoid this, take responsibility for yourself and only yourself. If the person with whom you are in contact has done something that is not to your liking, don’t provoke an argument that will hurt them. Rather, calmly talk to them about it. Only in this way will you get the attention you want, and it will come from a good and understanding place.
Here's a little experiment: the next time you're around people, strangers or acquaintances, complain loudly about something and watch the reactions on their faces. Most of the faces you’ll see won’t be pleasant, and that's because people aren’t attracted to those who complain too much. Most of us tend to complain in a repulsive and unattractive manner accompanied by sadness and sometimes cursing, and we must avoid this as much as possible. Of course, there are cases where you should complain, for example, if you didn’t receive the service you expected in the restaurant. Such a complaint, however, must be done in a way that isn’t harmful. Try to start a dialogue with the person with whom you have a problem and explain your feelings. The anger and complaints that only describe what is wrong with the situation should be left behind because in most cases they only cause hostility on the other side and cause a feeling of rejection.
Now that we’ve learned which habits to avoid, it’s time to find out which habits we should adopt to make others want to be around us.
Life is not easy for anyone, therefore, our ability to maintain a sense of humor is important if we want to make it easier for others to enjoy our company. Being able to make people laugh keeps them attracted to us and the feelings we help them experience. It doesn’t matter whether we’re laughing at ourselves or at them, as long as everything is done in good spirits. A sense of humor is one of the most attractive things, both between friends and potential partners, so it is strongly recommended that you sharpen this ability or at least keep a smile that will brighten up other peoples’ days.
When we meet people who have a strong desire for life and different experiences, it makes us feel a similar desire that in turn helps us bring ourselves back to our goals with renewed enthusiasm. Without passion, life loses its meaning, because in such a situation we have nothing to live for. Passion for life is also attractive because it often causes us to be unselfish, especially when we take upon ourselves a role to help the world around us become a better place, and that includes the world of our friends and loved ones.
Decisiveness is attractive because it shows that you have a definite direction and goal in the life you want to reach. This feature is more important in finding partners than in attracting friends because partners come to many moments in which they need to make decisions that affect their entire family life. Foolishness, on the other hand, is not attractive, so you have to be decisive people who know how to weigh things with logic.
For many of us, kindness is not only an attractive trait but often a quality that is 100 percent mandatory in people we choose to associate with. It doesn’t matter if it’s a stranger asking for directions, or a good friend asking you for help in moving, all these are situations where you are measured by your kindness and your ability to give of yourself to improve the life of the other. Everyone wants to know that there is someone to support them when they need help, therefore this will make people want to be around you.
This may be difficult because many of us feel insecure in many areas, but as long as you concentrate on one positive thing that exists in you and makes you good and successful people, there is no reason why you can’t feel that way. The reason this is attractive is that self-confident people make insecure people feel more comfortable. Self-confidence is a contagious feature, and once you get other people to feel your confidence, they will appeal to the way you make them feel and the self-confidence you instill in them. Click here to read about the 8 things you should keep in mind whenever you feel insecure.
A "closed head" is usually a sign of ignorance, or at least that's how many people interpret it, and there is no person drawn to a negative feature like this. Think for a moment in larger terms, right and left in politics or the different religions - most of these areas will not be open to major changes, and therefore they create many enemies. The same can happen to us, and although we probably won’t create enemies, we will reject people who disagree with our firm and uncompromising opinion. Keep an open mind, and you’ll be surprised to discover that it is precisely the people who present you with opposite views of your own but still agree to have a productive discussion with you, that you’ll want to be around more.