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13 Issues That Can Cause Marriage Problems

 Data from the National Survey of Family Growth reported that up to 48% of first marriages fall apart within the first 20 years. Getting married is like flipping a coin: heads you stay together, tails you get divorced. While you may be reading this statistic and immediately assume that you are one of the lucky 52%, it is as likely that you are not. Chances are you are making these marriage-killing mistakes on a daily basis and you haven't even realized it. 
1. You don't help around the house
things that go wrong in a marriage

A study from the University of Alberta showed that heterosexual couples had more, and better sex when men helped around the house. Researchers believe that the correlation has to do with the woman in the relationship feeling respected. When a partner pulls his weight, he prevents anger and bitterness, creating a more fertile ground in which a satisfying sexual encounter may occur. 

2. You are negatively influenced by your friends

If you surround yourself with friends in toxic relationships, it can end up having a negative effect on your own. Your friends' actions can actively influence your marriage, whether you realize it or not. Bad relationships and boundaries are toxic and actively at play in changing your own habits. Of course, it's okay to be a shoulder to cry on when your friends are going through a rough patch. However, you should steer clear of people who are cheating on their spouse or seem to have neverending relationship issues. Once you get those people out of your life, it will be easier for you to make friends. 

3. You value money over your marriage
things that go wrong in a marriage

Being materialistic is not going to work for you if you want your relationship to last. A study from researchers at Brigham Young University found that married individuals with higher levels of materialism had less satisfying marriages. The study also determined that materialism was more closely related to possession-oriented happiness than relationship-oriented happiness. As the pursuit of money and possessions are prioritized, it appears that other dimensions of life, such as relationships, are pushed aside. 

4. You snore

When one partner snores, the other is left tossing and turning all night due to a lack of sleep. This leads to fights and feelings of dissatisfaction. A study from the Sleep Disorders Center at Rush University Medical Center found that when a husband suffers from sleep apnea, the marriage is the real victim. A lack of sleep from both partners puts a strain on the marriage and creates a hostile and tense situation. When the snoring spouse underwent treatment for two weeks, the other partner's marital satisfaction score improved by 93%. 

5. You watch too much TV
things that go wrong in a marriage

Television can not only rot your brain, it can also ruin your relationship. Research showed that individuals who believed in the relationships they saw portrayed on TV were less committed to their actual relationship and more strongly associated it with a loss of personal freedom. In fact, study author Dr. Jeremy Osborn told Science Daily that people who believe the unrealistic portrayals on TV think their alternatives to their spouse are relatively attractive. "We live in a society that perpetually immerses itself in media images from both TV and the web, but most people have no sense of the ways those images are impacting them."

6. Your intimacy is too intense 

While it may sound counterintuitive, all the lovey-dovey acts of affection should be dialed down if you want your relationship to last. According to research published in Interpersonal Relations and Group Processes found that couples who divorced after seven or more years exhibited almost one-third more affection than those who stuck it out. Study authors believe that this happens because that level of affection is hard to keep up. 

7. You’re rejecting romantic comedies
things that go wrong in a marriage

You shouldn't just watch romantic comedies for your partner's sake. According to a three-year study, which analyzed couple therapy programs, it was found that people who watched romantic movies and discussed the relationships in them afterward had a 50% lower divorce rate. 

8. You have unrealistic expectations

Have you ever passed a man on the street and thought to yourself: 'He could be cute if he dressed a little better and cut his hair.' But when you try to pursue this almost-perfect gent, you will spend the entire relationship hoping for someone else - the perfect specimen you created in your head. Consequently, we are never truly happy. Unmet expectations are a huge relationship killer. They think that over time, they'll be able to mold them into someone else, but this just leads to disappointment and anger. 

9. You take your partner for granted
things that go wrong in a marriage
The ring on your finger is not an excuse to take your partner for granted. While you may have committed to one another always and forever, it doesn't mean that they don't deserve the same love and respect you've always given them. Assuming that your partner will automatically do what they've done, without being acknowledged will hurt your relationship. Always remember to thank your partner, and recognize the small things they do each day. 

10. You’re too stubborn

Prolonging a futile fight isn't going to hurt anyone but yourself. If you find yourself holding on to anger toward your spouse, ask yourself: why am I actually angry? If you are unable to answer that question, then it might be time to be the bigger person and say sorry. 

11. You’re more focused on the children
things that go wrong in a marriage
Being a parent is one of the most important jobs out there, but that doesn't mean that being a spouse isn't important too. Once there's a child in the picture, parents will often put the kids before their relationship and consequently, the parties become like roommates. The most frequent issue men bring up is that the focus of the wife turned to the child and never returned to the relationship with the man. This leads to a lack of intimacy. 
12. You have low self-esteem
things that go wrong in a marriage
Don't let your insecurities be the downfall of your dream relationship. Low self-esteem partners underestimate how positively they are viewed by their partner and how much their partner loves and cares for them. However, this self-doubt can lead to bad moods, higher stress levels, and lower life satisfaction - all of which can harm your health and scare your partner away.

13. You aren't attuned to your partner's feelings

In a relationship, 'I feel your pain' should be something you both say and mean. A study from the American Psychological Association found that relationship satisfaction was directly linked to each partner's ability to perceive their significant other's emotions. Based on their findings, the study authors encourage couples to emphasize with one another and communicate when they sense emotion, whether it's pleasure or pain. 

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