We’ve all had to deal with feelings of failure at one point or another. Failure is part of life and sometimes we aren’t even aware of them, but they are very important in our learning process and our paths to success. The natural impulse after experiencing failure is to self-blame and shame, perhaps because we don’t know how to cope with the humiliation.
But, if we know how to change this way of thinking and look at our failures as valuable rather than shameful, then we can really understand that only through them is learning and success possible. To change the way we think about failure, we’ve compiled the following 11 useful tips that you can apply to your life right now and begin to deal with your failures the right way!
When we want to engage in positive thinking, we sometimes encounter opposite and negative thoughts. It happens to almost everyone, and it is a trap of the brain that is very easy to fall into - a loop of negativity that makes us angry because we thought about something angry, or sad because of thoughts about something sad. The way to overcome this trap is to recognize it and accept the negative thought that comes over us. Just coming to terms with these thoughts creates a positive experience, one that will not necessarily lead us to instant happiness, but that is the beginning of recovery from negative thoughts.
Often after experiencing failure, we tend to analyze what happened and think critically about what we could have done otherwise. Such self-talk can be destructive, so it is important that you learn to control it and not let it make you feel meaningless and useless. Let failure sting for a moment, draw the appropriate conclusions from it, and then do everything in your power to stay positive and get back on the track.
When we fail, we "earn" emotional or physical scars, however, once we acknowledge our failures and learn from them, we will create a sense of curiosity about them. When curiosity is opened to them they then give us their attention and help us to reconcile with them and turn them into strengths. At the end of the day, it's all a matter of perspective - you can choose not to learn anything from your failures, or you can choose to empower yourself by becoming stronger, leading you to a better future.
Very often we avoid talking about our past failures for fear that they will define us. Of course, this isn’t true, and you must recognize that failure is not what characterizes you - the fact that you failed at something does not make you a failure. Create positive thoughts by answering the questions "What do I like about myself?", "What makes me special?" Remember that even if the past isn’t as rosy as you wanted or hoped for, your future can still be brilliant.
To turn failure into success something has to change, and if we think of life as a game of poker, we‘ll find that just like in the game we don’t control the cards we are dealt. However, we do have control over the way we play the game and this is our responsibility! When you imagine your failures as cards in a poker game, you will find yourself more flexible and less rigid, more relaxed and less insistent. This way of thinking will make you feel good and alive, giving you a more forgiving view of your failures.
Coping with failures is a part of life, and it is impossible to escape from this experience completely. The trick is to learn how to respond to failures - is the response only to lament our fate or to laugh at them all? The best success is to develop a humorous approach to these failures, so turn your failure story into a funny joke, and if you share it so that both you and those around you can have a laugh at it, the sense of disappointment your feeling will soon change with the many smiles around you.
In life we have learned to set ourselves goals and ambitions to which we aim and aspire, but what happens when we fail? Almost naturally we become indifferent to the goal and in some cases even give up on it. The solution to this is to continue to set goals, and at the same time, it is even more important to define the smaller goals you’ll need to reach to achieve the ultimate success. A goal is a destination to which we aspire, something we yearn for, while the journey is the totality of the actions we need to make in order to reach it.
Usually, after experiencing failure, we tend to give up and say that we’ll try again in the future, but we must not sink into this thought, and instead, we must adopt the successes of the past and draw the strength needed to keep trying. Let yourself fall and fail, but at the same time know how to get up quickly, shake the dust off and move on. Daily practice is much more important than practice that is occasional, and real greatness lies in long-time consistency – which is how you’ll pave your path to success.
Identify your failures and quickly learn from them, just as many successful people have experienced quite a number of failures and have learned and grown stronger with their help. You should try to understand past failures and ask yourself, "What can I learn from them?" Focus on learning rather than on "What could I have done better?" Remember, learning is one of the keys to success and you need to see past failures as part of a much larger process.
Sometimes, when faced with a task, we tend to fear failure, and for the most part, we simply give up. The fear of failure is the cause of this inaction, because of which we remain paralyzed and our lives do not progress. You are tested when the fear of failure overcomes the fear of action. In order to succeed, try comparing this fear to another fear you have, for example, a fear of heights, which you would overcome by coping with it, that is, putting yourself in a frightening situation deliberately, i.e. taking action!
Sometimes our failures make us stay in our comfort zone and we need help to shake off this harmful habit. One of the worst things we can do is think that dealing with failure is ours alone, so look for a close friend or a life coach to support you and your efforts, one who has the experience and the know-how needed to guide you towards your personal success.