1. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye Matey.
2. A vulture boards a plane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, “I’m sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion.”
3. What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain bagel.
4. My grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the New York City Zoo.
5. What was a more important invention than the first telephone?
The second one.
6. Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they’re dead.
7. A fish swimming upriver bumps his head.
Dam.
8. Why don’t ants get sick?
Because they have little anty-bodies.
9. Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
10. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
11. Have you heard the rumor going around about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.
13. They’re finally making a film about clocks.
Well…it’s about time!
14. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!”
15. My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books…
But he’s only got his shelf to blame.
16. What did one plate say to the other?
Dinner’s on me.
17. How does NASA organize a party?
They planet.
18. I don’t trust atoms…
They make up everything.
19. What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
I think I’m coming down with something.
20 Clever Words for Clever People To Laugh Over...
Have you heard of these words? No?? How come?
These Jokes Are So Dumb They'll Make You Laugh!
Some jokes are so dumb that they are actually hilarious and make you laugh out loud. Below is a selection of such jokes!
These Punny Opposites Are Absolutely Hilarious!
If silly puns are your cup of tea, then we've got one heck of a treat in store for you!
Joke: When the Evangelicals Are On TV
When grandma and grandpa are watching the evangelical preacher on the TV, they try to heal themselves of their ills by touching it. It doesn't go so well...
These One Liners Will Put a Smile on Your Face, Guaranteed!
A collection of crazy and unexpectedly hilarious jokes.
Hilarious: Old Ladies Know How to Ask the Best Questions...
Old ladies have some of the most poignant and relevant questions to ask of any of us. Here are a few of them!
HIALRIOUS: But Why????
Discover a collection of 35 different 'Why' jokes that are bound to make people of all ages giggle.
Hilarious: Have You Seen The New Senior Bumper Stickers?
Here are some bumper stickers specially made for the retired lifestyle!
Need a Smile? These Hilarious Animals Will Bring It Out!
Simply put - there's no funnier comedy than animal comedy!
Laugh out Loud at These Alternative Animal "Facts"
So-called animal experts have no idea about these facts. They're about to be revealed for the very first time, and rest assured that laughter will ensue!
Hilarious: Quick, Mrs. Brown, Answer the Phone! (Rude)
Mrs Brown's boys sure didn't think she would enjoy her new smart phone this much!
This May Be the Funniest Message I've Ever Heard...
This has to be the funniest hotline message ever recorded.
These Veterinarian Signs Made Me Laugh Out Loud!
Veterinarians have the most hilarious ways of looking at the crazy moments in your pets life and these signs are proof of that!
Hilarious Improv: Dear Wife, I'm Writing You This Letter...
These two improv performers are only allowed to say one word at a time. Following a suggestion from the audience.
Want to See Something Funny? This Prank is Hilarious
This prank begins with a window cleaner taking off some clothes...
The Famous Sketch that Made Millions Laugh!
Monty Python performed loads of hilarious sketches, but only this one gets me out of my chair and secretly practicing my own silly walks!
Hilarious: These Cheesy Puns Will Make You Giggle!
These cheesy puns will have your family and friends cringing first, and tittering with laughter second. Enjoy there 20 cheesy puns that are made to share.
These Funny One-Liners Are Utterly Hilarious
These monsters are out to make you giggle. They've got no less than 20 one-liners to share with you, and we bet you'll be in fits of laughter in no time.
Pets That Never Fail to Make Us Laugh & Brighten Our Day
Pets always have a way of making us laugh. Take a look at this hilarious clip that will surely brighten your day.
These Wine Jokes Are All in Good Taste...
I never knew there were so many funny things to say about wine...
Hilarious Sketch: The Great Piano Concerto
This hilarious sketch by a classic comedy duo puts you in the middle of the worst execution of a concert imaginable.
Librarians Really Do Have a Unique Sense of Humor!
When librarians decide to make us all laugh, they tend to do it in style!
Some Animals are True Comedians...
Who knew wildlife could be this funny? Here are 13 of this year's funny wild animal award nominees.
Funny: Young People Don't Have Damn a Clue About Aging!
This hilarious stand-up bit really hits home on the subject of aging, and how young people really don't get it...
These Brilliant Comic Strips Reveal Winter's Funny Side...
These comics perfectly portray the funny side of winter, and you'll find that many of the ideas they present are painfully true!
20 Not-So-Scary Horror-Themed Comics That Had Us Chuckling
Enjoy these hilarious one-frame comics by Mark Parisi that depict horror movies in parallel universes.
Hilarious: Come On Ladies, Let's Poke Some Fun!
What is it with men? They seem to be from another planet sometimes. Well, instead of bemoaning our luck we can at least enjoy a good laugh at their expense!
Excuse Me, Interior Designers? May I Ask... WHY?!?
These terrible interior design mistakes are so bad they're actually hilarious.
10 Jokes That Are So Bad, They're Actually Funny!
Sometimes jokes are so bad that they're actually funny. Here are 10 bad jokes that will make you chuckle!
Hilarious: We All Have That One Friend Who's Kinda Silly...
In every group of friends, we have this one friend who just keeps messing up. If your group doesn't have one, then it's probably you...
Some Languages Are Humorous, But English Is Hilarious!
If you're a sucker for a good, honest, rib-tickling pun, we've got more than 20 of them here for you to giggle away at!
Hilarious: Grammar is a Funny Subject!
These grammar jokes will have you on the floor they are so ridiculous!
These Inventors Thought Outside the Box! Hilarious
These creators came up with some pretty hilarious inventions.
Indecent Behavior: That's Not the Way to Conduct Yourself!
Waitresses see some shocking behavior from courting couples, but tonight's spectacle was extraordinarily indecent...
Rowan Atkinson Gives a Most Hilarious Sermon!
Rowan Atkinson, the famous comedian, gives a sermon the likes of which you've never heard...
Classic Comedy: Lucy and the Chocolate Factory
One of the most famous, and funniest, Lucy moments of all time!
I've Never Seen Translations Fail This Hard
These hilariously terrible translations will make you laugh your socks off!
Watch Simon's Cat Deal With a Very Friendly Doggie
In this episode of Simon's Cat, the cat must contend with an enthusiastic and friendly dog.
Hilarious: The Funniest Good Morning Quotes in History
Mornings aren’t for everyone. Here are some funny good morning quotes you will relate to.
These Funny Photos Show People's Relationship With Food!
There's no doubting that everyone's relationship with food is different, and this leads to people creating hilarious memes related to it! Take a look.
To Date this Hilarious Father's Daughter, Here are the Rules
While dads may be glad to see their daughter in love, when it comes to fathers and daughters, there are some hard line rules that NO suitor should cross!
With These Witty Lines Anyome Can be Star of the Party
some funny sayings with a something for everyone.
Who Knew These Famous Figures Were so Cheeky and Funny?
The wittiest, most devastating responses in history. Warning! These are guaranteed to make you laugh!
Hilarious: 15 Misspelled Signs That'll Make You Laugh!
We collected 15 hysterical signs with spelling mistakes here, so brace yourselves - because it’s about to get funny!