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Dumb Jokes That Are Actually Quite Funny

 Have you ever found yourself laughing uncontrollably at something so stupid you felt a little embarrassed? Come on…don’t lie…we’ve all laughed out loud at a dumb joke at least once in our lives. If you’re still adamant that you haven’t, this won’t be the case by the time you have finished reading this selection of dumb, but funny jokes.

1. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye Matey.

2. A vulture boards a plane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, “I’m sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion.”

3. What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain bagel.

4. My grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the New York City Zoo.


5. What was a more important invention than the first telephone?

The second one.

6. Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

Because they’re dead.

7. A fish swimming upriver bumps his head.


8. Why don’t ants get sick?

Because they have little anty-bodies.

9. Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar?

He got 12 months. 

10. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

11. Have you heard the rumor going around about butter?

Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.

13. They’re finally making a film about clocks.

Well…it’s about time!


14. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?


15. My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books…

But he’s only got his shelf to blame. 

16. What did one plate say to the other?

Dinner’s on me.

17. How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

18. I don’t trust atoms…

They make up everything.

19. What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

I think I’m coming down with something.

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