"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," was the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.
A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question.
The girl said, "I guess about 29."
The woman replied, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responded, "I am 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going...
"Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her.
She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."
He slipped both of his hands under her bra and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each one of her bosoms. He gently pinched them as well. He pushed her assets together and rubbed them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completed one last squeeze, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible! How could you tell??"
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
This Joke Starts With a Woman Joining a Country Club
A woman joins a country-club and sets out to play with the guys at 6.30am. She immediately impresses them with her golfing prowess...
Hilarious: Can I Have a Penny For Your Thoughts, Lad?
A Scottish lad and lass are sitting on a heathery hillside in the Highlands when they begin to converse...
This Joke Starts With a Man On His Deathbed
A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his wife and four children. Three are tall and athletic, but the fourth... isn't. He asks his wife about them...
This Joke Starts With a Man Working Late
A businessman works late to be with his young secretary, but eventually makes his way home. He begins to think up his excuses...
Joke: To Heaven and Back
A woman suffers a heart attack and ends up in hospital. She has a near-death experience, but awakens. She decides to get some work done...
These Hilarious Signs Were Totally Unnecessary
Here are 12 photos that really capture the silly side of humanity!
Three Sly Phone Scams That Could Cost You Big Time...
Phone scams are nothing new, but the way they are being executed now could catch you out when you least expect it. Here's what to look out for!
Classic Comedy: The Marx Brothers' Famous Mirror Scene
One of the most famous and adored comedy routines of all time performed by the talented Marx Brothers!
These Cats May Have Been Ninjas in a Past Life
Cats are talented when they put their mind to them, and this bunch seem to have developed some incredible skills!
South America is a One-of-a-Kind Place: 17 Hilarious Pics!
South America is a one-of-a-kind place!
These Child Letters to God are Both Touching and Hilarious
The letters these kids write are astounding.
16 Intensely Funny Signs Spotted In the Wild
These 16 unintentionally funny signs are guaranteed to make you hoot with laughter!
Funny: Is This the Youngest Thief in the World?
This prank is a real funny one. Imagine you see a little girl being taken away and treated like a real criminal, what would you think?
Some Languages Are Humorous, But English Is Hilarious!
If you're a sucker for a good, honest, rib-tickling pun, we've got more than 20 of them here for you to giggle away at!
These Cartoons Will Make You Laugh and Think...
This artist has an incredible knack for capturing the ironies and paradoxes arising from the use of technology in the modern world. View his illustrations here.
Hilarious: I Swear This Box Just Grew On Its Own!
These people are either failing their vision or their sanity!
Hilarious: The Wackiest Car Designs I've Ever Seen...
These car owners sure know how to make their vehicles stand out on the streets.
The Signs at This Gas Station Made the Entire World Laugh!
Surely enough, these hilarious signs will have you laughing for hours!
Hilarious: 19 Times the Universe Decided to Be Ironic...
These photos capture the most brilliant comedic irony caught on camera!
Classic Comedy: Getting Rid of Whom?? (Adult Humor)
I can't stop laughing at this hilarious scene...
These Uproarious Cartoons Make Age a Hilarious Affair...
These comics show that the best way to deal with aging is to have good old laugh it!
Hilarious - The World’s MOST Useless Inventions!
These inventions solve problems that don't exist!
Classic Comedy: Mr. Bean At the Restaurant
Watch and see what happens as Mr. Bean gets a taste of a raw Steak Tartare, and decides he doesn’t really like it…
These Inventors Thought Outside the Box! Hilarious
These creators came up with some pretty hilarious inventions.
20 Hilarious Supermarket Mistakes You've Got to See!
I used to think shopping was boring, until I started noticing these hilarious mistakes all over the place. Here are 20 of the funniest fails I've seen.
15 Vintage Photos That Will Make You Laugh
These weird and funny vintage photos don't make any sense!
The Senior Alphabet is Absolutely Hilarious!
They usually use the ABC poem to teach kids the alphabet, but now they've put out a senior version.
9 Mockumentaries That Had Us Rolling on the Floor
Explore the side-splitting world of mockumentaries.
Uproarious: Please Don't Sit Next to Me, Mr. Bean!
Mr. Bean is back, and this time he's on a plane trying to cheer up a young boy who is feeling a little sick. The results are of course hilarious!
15 Quirky Spanish Idioms That'll Brighten Your Day
Who doesn’t love a funny idiom? Today, let’s learn about some hilariously quirky Spanish idioms.
15 Stupendously Meaningless Road Signs That Really Exist
Signs are meant to be visual aids, reminders that also serve as a guide. If you ever drove by these incredible road signs, would you know what to do? I wouldn't have a clue.
Simon's Cat Leaves His Owner Out in the Cold!
Watch this latest Christmas Special episode of Simon's Cat.
HILARIOUS: 14 Cat Comics That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud!
This hilarious cat comics, drawn by Scott Metzger, perfectly capture the nature of cats.
13 Hilarious Protest Signs That'll Make You Laugh!
Some people like to think that holding up signs will achieve something, but others go to protests for a laugh. Here are 13 funny examples.
These Rude 'Chinese' Proverbs Got Me Laughing
Ok, so they may not really be Chinese, but they are certainly funny!
These Funny Hospital Photos Are Bound to Crack You Up
These hospital photos are bound to make you scream with laughter!
The Funniest Questions About Retirement are Finally Answered
Retirement has many secrets. Here are some important, 'hard' questions about this phase of life.
Winter Can Be CRAZY Sometimes - 16 Bizarre Pics
These chilly pictures show just how crazy and harsh winter can be.
Hilarious: Cats are Some of the Funniest Creatures
Prepare for a foray into the delightful absurdity of living with cats.
These Veterinarian Signs Made Me Laugh Out Loud!
Veterinarians have the most hilarious ways of looking at the crazy moments in your pets life and these signs are proof of that!
Want a Laugh? Try These Witty Lines!
The best jokes and phrases are the ones that completely catch us off guard. Here are 14 very witty and unpredictable jokes and phrases.
Hilarious: 22 Witty and Clever Cartoons!
22 of the funniest New Yorker cartoons that are just clever enough to be funny but not mysteriously so.
Classic Comedy: Sure, I Can Play the Concerto!
In this classic skit, world famous conductor Andre Previn attempts to get Eric Morecambe to play Grieg's Piano Concerto. How will they get on?
12 Hilarious Photos of Dogs Letting Cats Boss Them Around
It's just so funny to watch cats and dogs interact with each other, especially when dogs are being bossed around by cats! See for yourself in these hilarious photos