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Retirement Has Many Secrets...

 Retirement can be a wonderful thing. Though the change is certainly big - from stopping our day jobs and staying at home, to the hours that we've gained where we now need to keep ourselves busy, and hopefully enjoy ourselves too. Indeed, retirement has many secrets...
Question: How many days are there in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
"Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing
without worrying about getting caught at it"

Gene Perret 
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.


Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.
Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.
"There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit...retire!"
Groucho Marx 
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: Idiot
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Lunch.
"I have never liked working.
To me a job is an invasion of privacy."

Danny McGorty 
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, nothing; Saturday & Sunday, I rest.
"I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work.
So I do it three or four times a day."

Gene Perret
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