Predict Jokes

How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about
the present, I didn’t get you one.
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).