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Abraham Jokes

One Liners and Short Jokes
What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
They seem to all been born on holidays.
Food Quotes
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
Funny Animal Quotes
“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." - Abraham Lincoln
Knife Puns
The knife that Abraham used to kill Isaac has been found in Britain.
Apparently, it was a Dyson.
Italy Puns
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.