A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa.
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurred on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times, and then you kick me three times and so on, back and forth until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "You know what? Take the duck."
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Joke: Wedding Decisions
A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...
Welcome to Laugh Corner - Single Panel Comics
Dial down the stress as we approach our much-deserved weekend with some humor.
Cheeky, Funny, Unapologetic Children - 20 Pics
Here are 20 funny test answers, all written by children who just couldn't be bothered.
Vandalism Is Not Okay. Unless It Makes You Laugh Out Loud
Vandalism is WRONG. Unless it makes you laugh out loud. Then it’s okay.
Joke: Don't Drink and Jump
A man and a woman are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. The man soon makes a startling revelation...
These Restaurant Names Are Simply Too Funny!
These restaurants will grab you attention for all the wrong reasons! We can't stop laughing!
These Truly Outrageous Sights Can Only be Found in Russia!
If you're a huge fan of all things weird and wonderful, then there's no better place for you to visit than Russia. Here's why...
These Rude 'Chinese' Proverbs Got Me Laughing
Ok, so they may not really be Chinese, but they are certainly funny!
22 Hilarious Reasons That'll Make You Love Cats More!
These hilarious photos of cats show them breaking the laws of physics.
Kidding in the Rain: A Collection of Rainy-Day Pranks!
A hilarious collection of pranks by just for laughs focusing on rainy days.
Hilarious: I Swear This Box Just Grew On Its Own!
These people are either failing their vision or their sanity!
Classic Comedy: It's Not Easy Being a Conductor!
This hilarious and musical comedy sketch will leave you both delighted and laughing!
Lost in Translation: 15 Hilarious Language Fails
When translations from foreign languages into English go wrong, apart from being almost incomprehensible, the results are often outrageously hilarious!
The Signs at This Gas Station Made the Entire World Laugh!
Surely enough, these hilarious signs will have you laughing for hours!
Classic Comedy: Mrs. Brown's Having a VERY Weird Day...
Mrs. Brown will give you a big grin with another hilarious scene.
Hilarious: A Most Unusual Sermon!
Rowan Atkinson, the famous comedian, gives a sermon the likes of which you've never heard...
Mark Twain Had a Lot to Say About Almost Everything
Mark Twain is one of the most famous writers in American history. He was known for his dark wit and humor, and his quotes still inspire people today.
Arrest These Designers! 20 Cases of Design Faux Pas
From ashtrays labelled with 'No Smoking' signs to lemons that can supposedly produce orange juice, you've got to see these 20 hilarious design fails!
Hilarious: Some Translations are Too Funny to Correct!
When you're running a business in some far-off land, there's no excuse for not using Google Translate to make a sign. These disastrous results are hilarious!
Classic Comedy: The Miracle of Birth!
This sketch puts a very funny light on the process of hospital birth. Thank goodness it isn't like this in real life... or is it?
We Can’t Stop Laughing At These Silly Signs
These are some of the most ridiculous signs we've come across.
Hilarious: When It's Just Not Your Day...
These photos show spectacularly awful things that can happen to anyone. Let’s hope there was someone to give them a big hug afterwards.
Hilarious: Ready for Some Christmas Cartoons?
Here we've collected for you a series of funny Christmas cartoons for you to enjoy and to share with your family and friends!
Hilarious: You'll Only See THIS in Scotland!
Every country has its own quirks and oddities, Scotland may be one of the weirdest countries in Europe, and we have photographic proof!
Australia, the Unpredictable - 21 Sidesplitting Photos!
As these hilarious pictures prove, there's an equal number of pleasant surprises are terrifying encounters in Australia. You just never know what to expect...
These Senior Cartoons Will Make Anyone Laugh Out Loud
A collection of 20 hilarious comic strips and funny cartoons about aging.
To Date this Hilarious Father's Daughter, Here are the Rules
While dads may be glad to see their daughter in love, when it comes to fathers and daughters, there are some hard line rules that NO suitor should cross!
This is a Song All Mothers Should Hear. Hilarious!
This beautiful and hilarious song should be sung by all mothers everywhere.
Hilarious: Time to Laugh at Some Fresh Cartoons!
Forget everything today and just enjoy these hilarious one-panel comics by Mark Lynch.
Hilarious: The Wackiest Car Designs I've Ever Seen...
These car owners sure know how to make their vehicles stand out on the streets.
The Most Hilarious Photos from the Animal Kingdom!
Take a look at this hilarious collection of animal-failures.
17 Street Signs That Will Make You Crow With Laughter
We present to you a compilation of some of the most hilarious signs people accidentally stumbled upon on the street
Animals Bring So Much Joy Into Our Lives - & Make Us Laugh
There's no doubt that animals bring great joy to many people, not least by making them laugh. Take a look at these 15 funny animals doing their thing.
Funny: Wedding Days Aren't Supposed to Go Like This...
These weddings didn't quite go quite as planned...they'll crack you up!
14 Hilariously Creative Doormats that Crack Me Up!
‘Welcome’ is certainly not the only thing a doormat can say, as these hilarious and unusual doormats show...
HIALRIOUS: But Why????
Discover a collection of 35 different 'Why' jokes that are bound to make people of all ages giggle.
These Cat Models Are Simply Hilarious!
These cats have chosen a modelling as their full-time careers...
These Cats May Have Been Ninjas in a Past Life
Cats are talented when they put their mind to them, and this bunch seem to have developed some incredible skills!
Hilarious: When Timing and Comedy Team Up!
Comedy is all about timing and these photos are the perfect example for it!
Hilarious: These Shop Names are Comedy Gold!
These 15 British shops incorporated hilarious references and puns in their storefronts that are guaranteed to make visitors and passers-by smile from ear to ear
Hilarious: This New Train Line Is Certainly a Hard Sell
This classic British comedy sketch captures everything that's great about British humor. Watch this poor rep pitch to an utterly clueless transport minister...
Sometimes All You Need is One Line to Make You Laugh...
28 hilarious and short jokes! Read them all at once or come back and read one every day, no funny business
These Funny Restaurant Signs Will Have You Guffawing
The iconic Tex-Mex restaurant, El Arroyo is back with some more hilariously clever signs.
The Hilarious Antics of These Birds Will Make You Chuckle
Birds can be mean at times, but hilarious at the same time. Check out some of the funniest bird antics in this post.
Hilarious: Mr. Bean and the Eating Competition
Mr. Bean's eating competition against a fellow guest is going swimmingly until he eats a batch of spoiled oysters...