A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action.
The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, "Now, do you remember what the plan is?"
The blonde sighed and replied, "Yeah, yeah, I remember..." The brunette went over the plan once more and let the blonde out to do her stuff.
Before the blonde could shut the door, the brunette yelled out, "Be sure to be in and out in no more than 5 minutes!" The blonde ran inside and the brunette waited in the car... and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited.
After waiting for so long in the car, the blonde bursts out of the bank's doors, the alarm blaring loud enough to wake everyone up. The blonde was lugging a bank safe behind her by a rope tied around it.
A security guard ran out of the bank, his pants down around his ankles and attempting to reach his gun. The blonde breathed heavily as she tried to put the safe in the car but finally just gave up and dropped the safe behind. She ran into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut, the car already moving.
The security guard yelled, "Stop! Stop!" while the pair drove off, leaving the safe with the rope tied tightly around it behind. The brunette frantically asked the blonde, "What the hell happened in there?!?" The blonde was panting and turned to the brunette and choked out, "What do you mean? I followed the plan exactly!"
The brunette paused and yelled, "YOU IDIOT! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TIE UP THE GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE!"
|
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
3 Jokes About Blond Men That'll Make You Laugh out Loud
Blond jokes are just as funny when they are applied to men!
This Joke Starts With a Retiree Entering a Pharmacy
When an old man walks into a drug store and makes an unusual request, the pharmacist decides to do a little prying...
Have You Heard This Joke? A Blond Trilogy!
These hilarious and classic blond jokes will make your day.
Joke: Wedding Decisions
A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...
Joke: She Still Likes to Have a Drink
An old lady is celebrating her 80th birthday aboard a cruise ship. The bartender buys her a drink, and she proceeds to have a few...
WATCH: 10 Funny Xmas Editions of 'Simon's Cat' All in One!
These hilarious cartoons from Simon's cat serve to remind us not to forget something really important: It's Christmas for our cats too!
These Adorable Yet Funny Snapchats of Dogs Are a Must-See!
These snapchats of dogs are both funny and cute.
Short Senior Jokes that'll Make You Crack Up!
Just because you're getting old, it doesn't mean that you have to stop laughing. Here are 25 short senior jokes that'll really tickle your fancy.
Have You Ever Wondered What Animals Look Like Pregnant?
These animals really don't look too pleased with the current state that they're in! Here's what 22 animals look like just before they give birth.
These Hilarious Cartoons are All About Senior Life
A huge collection of funny senior cartoons that reveal all about how life changes us as we grow older. Get ready to laugh your heart out!
Mrs Brown Does a Hilarious Strip Tease - for the Vicar!
After being hypnotized the night before, Mrs Brown is unaware that she is still under the spell. The vicar is coming round for tea. What could go wrong?
Hilarious: When Signs Think You're an Idiot
A collection of signs, articles, manuals and more that are completely obvious and pointless...
Hilarious: These Shop Names are Comedy Gold!
These 15 British shops incorporated hilarious references and puns in their storefronts that are guaranteed to make visitors and passers-by smile from ear to ear
21 Single-Panel Comics That Deliver the Laughs
Enjoy this hilarious collection of single-frame comics by Doug Hill.
Hilarious: 22 Witty and Clever Cartoons!
22 of the funniest New Yorker cartoons that are just clever enough to be funny but not mysteriously so.
HILARIOUS: 14 Cat Comics That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud!
This hilarious cat comics, drawn by Scott Metzger, perfectly capture the nature of cats.
19 Classical Art Memes Guaranteed to Leave You in Splits
People are turning classical art into hilarious memes, and we can’t stop laughing!
Hilarious: Who Needs a Truck When You Can Have a Motorcycle
Although motorcycles were designed to transport a couple of people, some around the world have found more... innovative (and hilarious) ways of using them.
Only Senior Citizens Can Relate to This Hilarious Advice
If you're over the age of 60, you'll definitely be able to relate to these light-hearted statements.
Classic Comedy: It's Not Easy Being a Conductor!
This hilarious and musical comedy sketch will leave you both delighted and laughing!
22 Hilarious Reasons That'll Make You Love Cats More!
These hilarious photos of cats show them breaking the laws of physics.
The Singing Pug That Cannot Run - Hilarious!
Loca is a very lucky pug living in Ireland. With a loving family and lots of space to run outdoors, it's a great life. But Luca isn't very good at running, due to a non-harmful brain disorder. It's the only way it affects her, and she doesn't seem to
HILARIOUS: 15 Times People Failed the Only Job They Had
The most hilarious examples of hilarious work fails.
Some Animals Just Weren't Meant to Be Pets...
These pet owners aren't interested in cats, dogs, fish and birds like you and me. They prefer something a little wilder, and well, stranger...
Hilarious: Then DIY Goes Ridiculously Wrong...
The world is full of wonderful workmanship, but you won't see any of that here. This is a collection of the very worst of man's DIY, construction efforts!
Never Thought Bathroom Signs Could Be So Funny! (Rude)
These hilarious bathrooms signs are sure to make your trip to the little boy's or girl's room much more enjoyable!
Animals Bring So Much Joy Into Our Lives - & Make Us Laugh
There's no doubt that animals bring great joy to many people, not least by making them laugh. Take a look at these 15 funny animals doing their thing.
Hilarious: Grammar is a Funny Subject!
These grammar jokes will have you on the floor they are so ridiculous!
These Signboards Have the Worst Spelling Mistakes
These have to be some of the most unfortunate typos ever.
These Cat Models Are Simply Hilarious!
These cats have chosen a modelling as their full-time careers...
Hilarious: How Cold IS IT?
Don’t like the chilly weather? Then you will relate to these hilarious winter memes.
The 30 Craziest State Laws Are Just Too Funny For Words!
Check out 30 of the craziest laws that are still in effect in the US today!
Hilarious: This Week's Funniest Cartoons!
Our selection for this week's hilarious comics, there's a lot to smile and giggle about on this page. So if you need a moment to smile, or indeed some solid minutes - we've got you covered.
These Truly Outrageous Sights Can Only be Found in Russia!
If you're a huge fan of all things weird and wonderful, then there's no better place for you to visit than Russia. Here's why...
These Cat Tweets Will Give You Plenty to Laugh About!
Cats have been providing us with entertainment for as long as we have co-existed, and these cat tweets prove they’re still giving us plenty to laugh about!
Hilarious: How Weirs is the English Language?
English is a really funny language, especially when considering how meanings can be changed when punctuation's omitted. Take a look at these 9 hysterical memes.
These 15 Signs Are Beyond Funny!
Are you ready for your daily dose of laughs? We really hope you are, as this collection of 15 hilarious signs is beyond funny!
Try to Wrap Your Head Around These 17 Optical Illusions
Don’t trust your eyes! These mind-bending photos aren’t as bizarre as they seem at first, but they will try to mislead you...
Hilarious: These Funny Restaurant Signs Cracked People Up
Whenever people drove by these fast food joints, they were stopped in their tracks by their hilarious signs. Take a look.
What On Earth Were People Thinking When They Did This???
People can get things horribly wrong even when they only have one job. These 27 "you had one job" fails are utterly hilarious.
Hilarious - The World’s MOST Useless Inventions!
These inventions solve problems that don't exist!
These Photos Are so Ironic You'll Howl with Laughter!
The pictures you're about to see are so permeated with irony that they are scarcely believable. Here are 29 of the most ironic pictures you'll ever see.
The Wit of Mark Twain: Quotes that are Amusing and True
One of the most famous American writers, Twain was known for his wit and darker humor. To this day, his quotes are an inspiration.
These Mistranslations are Too Funny Not to Share
Enjoy this hilarious collection of ridiculousy bad translation fails.
Laugh out Loud at These Alternative Animal "Facts"
So-called animal experts have no idea about these facts. They're about to be revealed for the very first time, and rest assured that laughter will ensue!