What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.