Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
"Adulting makes me wine."
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
"I mead more wine."
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
"Great minds drink alike."
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
"Be kind, re-wine."
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
"It's wine o'clock."
You’re wine in a million.
"Partners in wine."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
"Love the wine you're with."
"On cloud wine."
"You're the wine that I want."
"Sip happens."
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
"Sip, sip hooray."
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
"I need to re-wine my life."
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.