A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
You cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo and you end up with a turtle
neck jumper.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
Turtles communicate with each other through shell phones.
What do you call a flying turtle?
A shellicopter.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
They have a shell-ebration.
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
We’ll need protracturtle in our next lesson since the topic will be angles.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
Turtles love taking shell-fies.
An electrocuted turtle feels shell-shocked.