Viagra Jokes

It was early morning and an old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said,"Where are you going?" He said, "I'm going to the doctor." And she said, "Why, are you sick?" "No" he said, "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills." So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater and he said, "Where are you going?" She said, "I'm going to the doctor, too." "Why?" She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again then I'm going to get a tetanus shot!"

The nurse asked a patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown to be checked by the doctor. "In front of you?" He asks shyly. The nurse says: "Well no, but I've seen a naked human body before. The man said, "Not one like mine. You'd die laughing at my naked body." "Of course I won't laugh," said the Nurse to the patient, "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.” "Okay then," said the patient, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing a huge male body with the smallest adult male organ the Nurse had ever seen in her life. In length and girth, it was almost identical to an AAA battery. Unable to control herself, the Nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out. And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing. Feeling very bad that she had laughed at the man's private parts, she composed herself as well as she could. "I am so sorry," she said, "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a Nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen," Bob replied. She ran out of the room.

The other day, a gentleman went to the Dentist's office to have a tooth pulled. The Dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give him a shot. "No way! No needles! I hate needles", the man said. The Dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man immediately objected. "I can't do the gas thing either; the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!" The Dentist then asks the gentleman if he has any objection to taking a pill. "No objection", the man said. "I'm fine with pills". The Dentist then returns and says, "Here's a Viagra tablet". The gentleman, totally at a loss for words, said in amazement, "WOW, I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!" "It doesn't", said the Dentist, "but it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth."

A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours. The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, "What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?" The doctor replied, "It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs."

A senior couple decides to try Viagra for the first time ever. They have an incredible night together. In the morning, the wife asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?" He declines. “Thanks for asking, but, I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?" He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food." Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?" He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry." "Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving!"