Throws Jokes

"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
Harry asks his wife Harriet: "What would you like as a present for your birthday?"
Harriet looks at him sarcastically and yells "A divorce!" and then throws her head back and laughs.

Harry looks down wringing his hands, "I wasn't thinking of spending that much."
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she has a grenade in her hand.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
A Duel For Love A man gets home early from work and catches his wife in bed with another man... The husband challenges the other man to an old fashioned duel with his hand guns, whoever manages to shoot first and kill the other gets his wife. The other man agrees, so they go into another room so the wife doesn't have to see it. Once in the other room, the husband turns to the other man and says: "Why should either of us have to die? We will both fire a shot into the air and lay on the ground as if we're dead, when she comes in she will see our 'lifeless' bodies and rush to one of us, whoever she chooses can have her." The other man agrees again, so they fire into the air and collapse. The wife throws the door open and peers down at the two men, then backs out of the room and calls out: "Darling, you can come out! They're both dead!"
What happens when someone throws a rock at you? Rock bottom hits you.
Babe, your beauty throws me off-beat
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
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