Paper

What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
In another town, the cowboy rides in wearing a paper suit. Paper pants, paper jacket, paper chaps. Even a paper holster!
He wasn't in town ten minutes before he was arrested for rustling.
Between Anger and Exasperation
Between Anger and Exasperation A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked: “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?” The father replied: “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.” With that the father went to the telephone and dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said: “Hello, is Melvin there?” The man answered: “There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don’t you learn to look up numbers before you dial.” “See,” said the father to his daughter. “That man was not a bit happy with our call. He was probably very busy with something and we annoyed him. Now watch.” The father dialed the number again. “Hello, is Melvin there?” asked the father. “Now look here!” came the heated reply. “You just called this number and I told you that there is no Melvin here! You’ve got a lot of guts calling again!” The receiver slammed down hard. The father turned to his daughter and said: “You see, that was anger. Now I’ll show you what exasperation means.” He dialed the same number, and when a violent voice roared: “Hello!” The father calmly said: “Hello, this is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?”
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
Billy turned in his art project and his teacher said, “This piece of paper has nothing on it?”
Billy replied “I know, I drew a blank.”
Want to hear a joke about paper?
Nevermind, it's tearrible.
A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
I wrote down a list of everyone I hate on a piece of paper and my roommate use it to roll his joint....
He's now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
In another town, the cowboy rides in wearing a paper suit. Paper pants, paper jacket, paper chaps. Even a paper holster!
He wasn't in town ten minutes before he was arrested for rustling.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I don't know, it's never happened.
That's Not It...
That's Not It... A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."