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Numbers Jokes

Little Johnny Counts to 10
Little Johnny Counts to 10 The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," answers little Johnny.
Anti Jokes
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
Clever Jokes
Did you hear about the math professor who was afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Flamingo Puns
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
Quotes
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
Homer Simpson
One Liners and Short Jokes
The fact that there is a highway to hell, and only a staircase to heaven
Says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
Funny Work Quotes
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.​” — Homer Simpson
Christian Pick Up Lines
Hey, I was reading through the Book of Numbers today, and I realized I didn't have yours.
Literary Pick Up Lines
I was reading the book of numbers yesterday, and I realized I don’t have yours.
Math Puns
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Gorilla Puns
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Arm Puns
I'm going to get the numbers 1 through 30 tattooed up my arm.
That way people can always count on me.
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