Mechanic

The European Afterlife
The European Afterlife European Heaven is where: All the soldiers are British, All the wine is French, All the cars are German, All the lovers are Italian, The weather is Greek, And everything is organized by the Swiss. European Hell is where: All the soldiers are French, All the wine is German, All the cars are Greek, All the lovers are Swiss, The weather is British, And everything is organized by the Italians.
What Do I Look Like to You?
What Do I Look Like to You? A married couple moves into to a new home. After a few days, as the husband returns home from work, his wife says to him, "Honey, one of the pipes in the bathroom is leaking, could you fix it?" "What do I look like, a plumber?" asks the husband, and goes to sleep. A few days later, the wife once again turns to her husband and says, "Honey, my car doesn't start. I think it may need a new battery. Could you change it for me?" "What do I look like, a mechanic?" asks the husband with a frown. A week goes by, and the wife once again turns to her husband and says, "Dear, the roof is leaking, could you do something about it?" "What do I look like, a roofer?" asks the husband. "Take care of these things yourself!" He then leaves home for a week on a business trip. "When I come back," he says to his wife, "I'd like all these things taken care of." He comes back a week later and is astonished to discover the roof is fixed, the car is running and the pipes are brand new. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls at his wife. "Nothing at all." said the wife. "The neighbor popped in and turns out he's a handyman. He said he'd fix the whole thing if I'd just bake him a cake or sleep with him." "Wow," said the husband. "What kind of cake did you make him?" "What do I look like," exclaims the wife, "a baker?"
When a Gyno Becomes a Mechanic
When a Gyno Becomes a Mechanic A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided that he needed a career change. He'd always enjoyed tinkering with engines so thought he'd become a mechanic. So he went along to mechanics school and the final test was to strip the engine completely and reassemble it - obviously back into perfect working order. So our gynecologist friend did the test and anxiously awaited the result. The day he received the results he got quite a surprise, he got 150%! He quickly phoned the instructor and queried the mark. The instructor said: "no, no that's right. First I gave you 50% for stripping down the engine - a very thorough job. Next I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job really, and then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the muffler."
Gyno Turned Mechanic
Gyno Turned Mechanic After 20 years of work, a successful gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and decided that, even though this is all he knew, he would seek new career for himself. Hoping to try a career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic, as working in a garage is always something he thought he might be good at. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?” The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark.” After a pause, the instructor added, “I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I’ve never seen done in my entire career.”