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Hurt Jokes

Friendship Quotes
“Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.”
— Unknown
Orange Puns
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
Funny Aging Quotes
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
Canadian Pick Up Lines
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Also Did you utilize Canada's public healthcare system to help ease that pain?
Toxic Pick Up Lines
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
Zombie Puns
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Art Puns
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
Food Quotes
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
Shower Puns
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
Funny Break Up Lines
Me: Did it hurt?

Her: Did what hurt?

Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Mummy Puns
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Grass Puns
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
Funny Money Quotes
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
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