Hunt Jokes

The Old Hunting Story One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said, "See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget." They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story. "Well," he began, "I remember back in '44', we went on a lion hunting expedition in Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing. On the fourth day, I was so tired I had to rest. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. I don't know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this, 'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!' Well... I just crapped my pants." The young men looked astonished and one of them said, "I don't blame you, I would have crapped my pants too if a lion jumped out at me." The old man shook his head and said, "No, no, not then, just now when I said 'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!'"
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
I tried to take a girl out to hunt seals for a first date.
But she wasn't really Inuit.
Me without you is like the Easter egg hunt without the Easter Eggs.
I'm on a hunt - for your number.
They told me I was too old to hunt for Easter eggs, but the jokes on them!
I prefer mine poached.
There once was a hunter named Frawley
Who lived in a shack, outside Raleigh.
His dog, funny but true,
Would only hunt honeydew.
The dog was a true melon collie.

(William Robinson)
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
What kind of hunt is a marriage? One where the trapped animal has to buy the license.
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
The Leather Worker A leather worker was flying to Australia when his plan crashed. As bad luck would have it, he got separated from the rest of the floating passengers and found himself stranded on a small deserted island. Desperate to survive, the leather worker searches the island for food to eat. Luckily, he finds a herd of docile cows on the island. He successfully hunts one of the cows and skillfully cleans and prepares the cow's skin and meat for himself. With a steady supply of food, the leather worker knew it was time to find a way off the island. He decides to make a large canopy out of the cow's leather and used some leaves to spell out S.O.S that could easily be seen from above. A few days later, a passing plane spots the message, and calls a ship to rescue the man. It just goes to show you that when all else fails, the best thing to do is to hide in plane sight.
I hate it when the grammar Nazis single me out.
It seems like a which hunt.
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