A husband and wife were walking down a high street when the wife spots a beautiful diamond necklace in a jewelry store window.
She urges her husband to go inside so that she can take a look at it. Although she wants it, he simply doesn’t have to buy it for her, but he promises that it’ll be hers one day.
A month passes, and the wife is at home wondering where on earth her husband is.
She angrily calls his cell phone.
"Where the hell are you?!?" she yells.
"Darling, you remember that jewelry store where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it, and I didn't have money that time, and I said 'Baby it'll be yours one day'?"
"Yeah, I remember that my love!" she replies, smiling and blushing as she does, her anger changing to euphoria.
"I'm in the bar just next to that shop."
A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked: “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?”
The father replied: “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.”
With that the father went to the telephone and dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said: “Hello, is Melvin there?”
The man answered: “There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don’t you learn to look up numbers before you dial.”
“See,” said the father to his daughter. “That man was not a bit happy with our call. He was probably very busy with something and we annoyed him. Now watch.”
The father dialed the number again. “Hello, is Melvin there?” asked the father.
“Now look here!” came the heated reply. “You just called this number and I told you that there is no Melvin here! You’ve got a lot of guts calling again!”
The receiver slammed down hard. The father turned to his daughter and said: “You see, that was anger. Now I’ll show you what exasperation means.”
He dialed the same number, and when a violent voice roared: “Hello!”
The father calmly said: “Hello, this is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?”
A teacher said to her class, "Right, i'm going to hold something under the desk and i want you to guess what it is. This one is round and red."
Little Johnny's hand shot up, but he was ignored. The teacher knew him to be a troublemaker.
"It's a plum miss," said a girl.
"No." Said the teacher with a smile. "it's an apple, but i like the way you think!
The next one is oval shaped and green."
The teacher ignored Little Johnny's eagerly raised hand again as a boy said, "It's an Iguana miss!"
"No, it's a kiwi, but i like the way you think Billy."
Little Johnny couldn't help himself anymore and said, " I got one miss, its stiff, about an inch long and with a red knob."
"Johnny, that's disgusting!" shouted the teacher in anger.
"Nah, " Said Little Johnny. "It's a match, but i like the way you think."
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