Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.