You’re my heartthrob.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
He was dead on a rival.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
I have a heart-on for you.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
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