Funny insults you can use or prepared comebacks for people insulting you

Funny Insults & Comebacks

Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
Your mom is so fat
Her school picture from first grade is still printing.
Yo momma is so fat, she sweats barbecue sauce.
Yo mama is so fat, her alphabet starts with O.
OBCD.
Yo mamma so old she pre-order the bible.
Yo Momma so stupid, she thought seaweed is something fish smoke.
You're an animal in the sack!
Man to his wife, "You're in animal in the sack!"

Wife responds, "Oh yeah?! Like a tiger?"

Man, "No... More like a starfish."
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.
Yo Mama so short she poses for trophies.
Yo Mama so short she got ran over by a Hot Wheel.
Yo Mama so short she can do limbo under the door.
Yo Mama so short her head smells like feet.
Yo Mama so short when it rains, she's always the last to know.
Yo Mama so short she's Mini-Me's Mini-Me.
Yo Mama so short she's a teller at a piggy bank.
Yo Mama so short she plays soccer with atoms.
Yo Mama so short she uses a toothpick as a pool cue.
Yo Mama so short she takes a shower in a rain drop.
Yo Mama so short she uses a sock for a sleeping bag.
Yo Mama so short she ties her shoelaces while standing up.
Yo Mama so short she can sit on a penny and swing her legs.
Yo Mama so short she has to wear a torn napkin as a dress.
Yo Mama so short she does pull-ups on a staple.
Yo Mama so short she needs a stool to pick her nose.
Yo Mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
Yo Mama so short she has to cuff her underwear.
Yo Mama so short when she sneezes she hits her head on the floor.
Yo Mama so short she drives a toy car.
Yo Mama so short she doesn't roll dice, she pushes them.
Yo Mama so short she can hang glide on a Dorito.