Funny insults you can use or prepared comebacks for people insulting you

Stop saying your life is a joke.
A joke has meaning.
Your parents are the greatest comedians in the world.
They made a joke decades ago and we're all still laughing at it.
You're so ugly at Halloween kids give YOU candy.
You're so ugly after the doctor cut your cord he hung himself with it.
You have so many pimples blind people find your face a fascinating read.
You're so ugly when your wife takes you to the beach they ask her what she used for bait.
You're so ugly in your family album they only keep the negatives.
You're so ugly when you were a baby your mother breastfed you through a straw.
The earth was flat...
Until they buried your mom.
You're so ugly that I'm going to have to stop drinking, just in case I start seeing two of you.
Boyfriend: Just because you have your period doesn’t mean you can be so mean.
Girlfriend: Oh well just because you have a dick doesn’t mean you can be one.
My favorite se* position is called “WOW”
It’s where I flip your MOM over.
Roses are Red
Violets are blue
If I had a brick
I’d throw it at you.
Roses are red
violets are blue.
God made me good lookin'
what happened to you?
Roses are red
violets are blue.
It was one ripped condom
that made you.
Yo Mama so ugly
She goes to the dentist for a colonoscopy.
Are you a clock?
Because you're ticking me off.
Yo mama is so ugly she made my happy meal cry.
Yo moma is so stupid, she tried to surf the microwave
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!
Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
Yo mama so old, When she farted dust came out!
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.