The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.